Shepard and the Gang
by Commander Mander
Summary: Shepard Doo and the gang are on a mission to save the galaxy from Saren and the Reapers.


Shepard and the gang had finally reached the Conduit, driving the Mako into the great blue beam. Once they'd arrived on the Citadel, they exited the vehicle and regrouped.

"All right, gang, let's split up," Shepard suggested. "Tali and Liara, you two come with me to the Citadel tower."

"Got it, Shepard," Liara affirmed.

"Garrus and Kaiden, you two can take the Presidium."

"On it," Kaiden replied.

"And Wrex, you take the wards."

Wrex reloaded his shotgun. "I've been ready for this day since I was born." He scurried off

"All right everyone, we've got our objectives, let's get on it."

They all nodded at each other and headed off their separate ways.

* * *

Garrus and Kaiden wandered through the Presidium, half way looking for Saren, and half way looking to kill time hoping someone else would find him first. As they continued their journey, Kaiden stopped as they entered one of the shops.

"You know, this shop used to sell my favorite snack."

"So?" Garrus replied nonchalantly.

"So, right now it's totally deserted. In fact, the owner of this shop might even be dead for all we know."

"And your point is?"

"Follow me."

Kaiden led Garrus to the shop's storage room where there were boxes upon boxes filled with Kaiden's favorite snack.

"This is what I'm talking about. You've got to try one of these, Garrus." He said, opening one of the boxes and handing Garrus what looked like a small cookie.

"You know, humans and Turians can't eat the same food."

"Well, I think this is worth risking death to try. It's delicious, really."

Kaiden sat down on top of a box and pulled what looked like a nicely rolled cigar out of his pocket. He put it in his mouth and lit it.

"Mmm, that's the good stuff." He moaned, exhaling the smoke, leaning back and putting his hands behind his head.

"What are you smoking?" Garrus questioned.

"It's medicinal stuff. It helps with my constant headaches. Stuff to help me relax. Wanna try it."

"Hmm... I've never smoked before."

"Oh, you're gonna love this Garrus. Smoke a little bit of this and eat a ton of those snacks and you'll feel good as new. Besides, you seem like you could use a little relaxing with that stick up your ass and all."

"Stick up my ass? I'll show you who's got a stick in his ass."

He snatched the joint from Kaiden's mouth and took a few puffs. He started coughing and hacking like crazy.

"Jesus, that stuff is strong."

"Yep, It's nice isn't it? Sit down, Garrus. Relax. Let your mind take you across the galaxy."

"As a matter of fact. I think I will try one of those snacks."

* * *

Wrex wandered the Wards, killing geth, and looking for credit chits left on the Geth's victims. He decided since he was on the Wards anyway, he might as well check Fist's office. He never got the pleasure of murdering him since Shepard got there before he did. He also never got the money that came with the bounty.

Once he was in Fist's office, he found a wall safe. He cracked it and was awestruck.

"Looks like Wrex is gettin a new shotgun. Heheheheheh."

* * *

Shepard, with her gang, Liara and Tali, in tow, were in the Citadel tower looking for Saren, preparing for what would be their final battle. As they delve deeper into the room, they were interrupted by a shot that was fired at them. They all immediately ducked into cover.

"Well it seems you have found me Shepard. I let you get away on Virmire, but I will not make that same mistake again," Saren started, confidently.

"I could say the same to you," Shepard replied.

"You don't understand, Shepard. The Reapers only wish to cooperate with us. If we work with them, then they will let us live."

"I'd rather die than be a slave to the Reapers, like you!"

"I am not their slave. I work WITH Sovereign, not for him. The transition from ally to slave can be subtle, I will not let it happen to me."

"Don't you see, you're already indoctrinated!"

"No, I am- nnrrgh. I am not. I let Sovereign implant me to enhance me, but I still have free will."

"It's not too late for you, Saren. If you join me, we can work together to fight him!"

"No. It is too late for me. Thank you Shepard."

Saren took a gun to his head, and pulled the trigger.

"Commader Shepard, do you read me? Please come in, Commander!" Shepard heard over her Omni-tool.

"Joker?"

"Thank goodness someone responded. Is everything okay down where you are? I got through to Wrex, but Kaiden and Garrus aren't responding."

"Me, Tali, and Liara are okay. I'll see if I can get into contact with the other two."

Shepard ended the call with Joker and tried to get into contact with Garrus and Kaiden.

"Hello? Is anyone on this frequency? Anyone? Hello? What Is your status?"

Garrus answered with a cough.

"Mm Shepard, we're fine here. Very fine. Quite fine. Very. Quite. Yes we are okay over here."

"Are you sure? Do you need any help? Should I send someone to ick you two up?"

Kaiden intruded upon the call.

"Commander, we're fine. Should we meet you at the Citadel Tower? Citadel. Cita- Ci-Ta-Del. Tower. The Tower. Should we meet you there? Where you are? The Citadel Tower? Tow. Er. Tower."

"Are you sure you're okay, Lieutenant?"

"Yes. We'll meet up with you in just a-" he took a puff and exhaled "moment."

"Okay..."

Once the call was over Shepard recommended that they check to make sure Saren was dead.

When they got to his body, Tali shot him in the head one last time.

"Looks like a job well-" Shepard was cut off by what appeared to be Saren being revived into some sort of Reaper-Geth-Turian amalgamation.

"Jinkies!" cried Tali.

"Let's kill it, gang!"

After some great effort, they finally triumphed over Saren. Right before Shepard delivered the last shot, she strolled toward his body and put a gun in his face.

"Any last words?"

He turned his head toward Shepard. In a breathless, dying voice, he spoke.

"I would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids."

Shepard shot his face off, ending him for good.

Shepard turned around and was greeted by Wrex, with Kaiden and Garrus following closely behind.

Kaiden was holding Garrus up a he was clutching his stomach.

"You okay, Garrus?" Shepard asked.

"So.. many... cookies."

"What?"

"Nothing, Commander. He's still in shock from all those Geth we were ambushed by." Kaiden stuttered, giving Garrus an elbow in the rib.

"Lieutenant, why are your eyes so red?"

Kaiden scrambled for an excuse.

"I mean, ya know, seeing all those dead bodies on the Presidium, makes a guy feel a little emotional." He finished with a fake sniffle.

"Yeah, sure. Well job well done, everyone! We saved the Galaxy from destruction!"

"Yeah! Shepard Doo!" Garrus exclaimed for seemingly no reason.

"What did you just call me?"

"Shepard Doo! Shepard-epard-Doo. Where are you? We got some work to do now!"

Kaiden joined in.

"Shepard-epard-Doo. Where are you? We need some help from you now!"

Soon everyone but Shepard joined in.

"Come on Shepard Doo, I see you, and you're a council Spectre!"

Shepard's amusement seemed to grow as bold as her annoyance, as she had no idea what everyone was referencing or how they all seemed to know the same song.

"You're not fooling me, 'cause we can see, the way you shake and shiver!"

Wrex gave her a good slap on the back on that line.

"You know we've got a galaxy to save so Shepard Doo be ready for your act. Don't hold back! And Shepard Doo if you come through you know your crew will have your Shepard back! That's a fact!"

Shepard began to grin as the whole crew began clapping in rhythm.

"Shepard-epard Doo, here are you. You're ready and you're willing. If we can count on you, Shepard Doo, we know we'll catch that villain!"

They all cheered and held Shepard in the air.

"Thank you for all your support!" exclaimed a teary eyed Shepard.

"Now let's kick some more reaper ass!"


End file.
